Well, technically, I’m still 27. I will be 28 on April 12.
I don’t care what you think about my writing (I know I’m not a good writer, but hey, at least I have guts to write this piece of shit!). Nope, this one has nothing to do with traveling. I just needed to pour out what is bothering me right now.
28 years old. You think I’m not scared of getting older? I actually am. It stresses me out just thinking about it. I feel like I have accomplished nothing. Like I have done nothing meaningful.
I was having a discussion with one of my acquaintances yesterday, and according to her, 24 year-old people and over are not young anymore (this hit me right in the heart). She said that they should be more serious, especially in relationships.
She said that they should not be messing around anymore. They should stick with one person and take their relationships to the next level. They should all be thinking about marriage.
Honestly, I felt so attacked. Why is that? What if I don’t want to get married and have kids? And if 24 year-old people are no longer considered young, what does that make me? I asked myself silently.
“But not everyone that is over 24 wants to get married, right? What about people like me who think that marriage isn’t the goal?” I asked her. Then, she replied, “But you’re currently single, aren’t you? Perhaps that’s why you don’t think of getting married.” I nodded and I don’t know why I did.
I can’t believe how naive she is. She thinks everyone wants to get married and raise children. She made me think how much of a failure I am. She made me believe that I am no longer young.
But, I have come to realize that it’s all my fault.
I let her bring me down. I’m the one who took it personal. I had decided to hang out with her. I had decided to have a conversation with her that day.
But, anyway, I also realized that all my life I had let so many people bring me down. I had hung out with the wrong people. I had let them judge me and define who I am. I had let toxic people drain me.
I am the one who let myself think that I’m a failure. That I’m an old woman who has achieved nothing. That I will never be successful.
So, here are some lessons that I’ve recently learned:
- We should not compromise ourselves for toxic people
- It is okay to push people away when all they do is bring us down
- Being alone is better than being surrounded by negative people
- Faking our happiness won’t ease our pain
Whoever is reading this out there and feeling personally attacked, I am so sorry. I’m just tired of faking my happiness, pretending like I feel comfortable listening to your negativity.